I’m always asking questions (some rude) of my characters so I can get to know them better. So I came upon this recently while reading The Cold Dish (first in the Longmire series). Everyone, including the Sheriff, is spooked by an old Indian gun. Longmire explains to Vic that it’s haunted. There are “Old Cheyenne hanging around the thing looking for people to abduct and take back to the Camp of the Dead.”
Vic says, “Cool.”
I was delighted. That reaction was perfect. With one word, Vic had both surprised me and revealed her character. The passage showed me how a reaction to a simple statement can be as useful as any question.
There’s something similar in Sleepless in Seattle:
Annie Reed - You know that dream when you're on the street naked and everyone is looking?
Becky - I love that dream.
What are the elements about these responses that are so compelling?
1 In each case, there’s a statement (or a rhetorical question) that has an obvious reaction we’re supposed to have. In both these cases, the statements relate to fear, so Vic is supposed to be uneasy. Becky is supposed to feel vulnerable or embarrassed.
2 In each case, the first character has had the reaction we expect.
3 The other character surprises us with a reaction we may not have imagined, one very different from the other character, which illuminates the differences between them.
The wonderful things about having characters respond to statements are:
1 In the best cases, you learn something about them.
2 You can also diagnose a big problem—not enough contrast between characters. If you have a series of statements to which key characters have essentially the same response, you have a problem.
3 If none of the characters give you a response that surprises you, they may be too flat. It’s possible you just know them well, but it’s worth exploring.
I generated fifteen statements by reflecting on common fears and needs. I then thought of contrasting characters I “know,” and put down my first answers for each. I had fun and some surprises. For this effort, I used Annie and Becky from Sleepless in Seattle and Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple. (More on Felix and Oscar later.)
To try it yourself, you might use a pair you easily could provide answers for:
Spock and Kirk
Burns and Allen
Mozart and Salieri
Leia and Han
Thelma and Louise
It’s great practice, and it will really pay off when you pull characters in from your own stories.
So here’s the fifteen I came up with. Even working rapidly, there were some surprises (underlined) for me.
An asteroid will hit New York City in about an hour.
- Annie Oh, my god! That’s horrible.
- Becky I’m finishing the cake.
- Felix It’s about time.
- Oscar Well, there’s no point writing my column.
Someone planted cameras all over your home.
- Annie Even in the bathroom?
- Becky November third. Can I get a copy?
- Felix Is there a ransom?
- Oscar Enjoy the show.
CNN is on their way over to interview you live.
- Annie A cause. I should talk about a cause for good. Which cause?
- Becky How do I look?
- Felix Tell them to wipe their feet before they come in.
- Oscar Tell them I don’t have time.
There’s a hurricane warning. Get into the closet.
- Annie I’ve heard lying in a bathtub is best. With a mattress over you. And if you have a radio and some bottled water, bring those. And…
- Becky And miss it?
- Felix How big is the closet?
- Oscar Okay if I smoke?
We found the alien, in your wrist just under your skin.
- Annie Ack! Ugh! Get it out!
- Becky How alien?
- Felix Take the arm off. I mean it.
- Oscar Get me a hammer.
Your (wife, husband, lover) has been kidnapped.
- Annie What do I need to do?
- Becky Again?
- Felix I’ll pay any amount.
- Oscar This is going to cost her husband.
That ring you’re wearing gives you the power to speak with the dead.
- Annie Grand-dad, I’m here.
- Becky Can I talk to anybody? Freddie Mercury, I know you’re there.
- Felix I had a cat. Siamese. Blinky. Can I talk to Blinky?
- Oscar Uncle Louis, what happened to your coin collection?
We’re lost.
- Annie Misplaced.
- Becky It’s the first step in discovery.
- Felix I’m too young to die!
- Oscar Follow me.
You’re living in a computer simulation.- Annie But it seems so real.
- Becky Do I get superpowers? Can I fly?
- Felix With viruses? Bugs?
- Oscar Computer. Bring me a beer.
You were in a horrible accident and your brain in now in cow.- Annie Is it a happy cow?
- Becky Do I get to wear a bell?
- Felix Are there any other animals available?
- Oscar Bull.
You’ve lost all your money.- Annie How?
- Becky Two words: Credit cards.
- Felix I knew it would happen.
- Oscar What money?
The building is surrounded by terrorists.
- Annie Shelter in place. How do we shelter in place?
- Becky Are any of them cute?
- Felix I begged for a safe room. I pleaded for one.
- Oscar Felix said he saw a rat. I called the exterminators.
You’re horribly allergic to coffee.
- Annie Tea will be fine.
- Becky I’ll have a double espresso to go.
- Felix Add it to the list.
- Oscar Thank god it’s not beer.
You’ll never see your family again.
- Annie I don’t understand.
- Becky The best news I’ve had all day.
- Felix No! No! They can’t survive without me!
- Oscar Does that include my ex-wife?
The government has an exact copy of all your computer files.
- Annie Really? I accidentally erased some files I need. Can they help me?
- Becky Tell them all the good stuff is in the folder marked “Magic.”
- Felix I’ve never owned a computer.
- Oscar Are they offering me a deal?
Here are a couple more you can play with.
There’s a recall on kale.
We’ve discovered you have an evil twin.
You can use my statements or make up your own. I suggest doing so without reference to your characters, otherwise it’s like leading the jury.
Feel free to try an event instead of a statement. A great example is in Ghostbusters, when Venkman gets slimed. Venkman is disgusted. Ray is delighted:
Dr. Peter Venkman - He slimed me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz - That's great. Actual physical contact. Can you move?
If you really want to switch things up, there’s no better example than when Felix tells off Oscar in The Odd Couple. Brilliant as always, Neil Simon puts the unexpected piece first:
Felix - All right then, you asked for it. You’re a wonderful guy, Oscar. You’ve done everything for me. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know what would have happened to me.
Oscar comes back with a monologue that does the expected, really tells off Felix. But he has been thrown off so completely, it breaks him. He cracks up. And that’s something that wouldn’t have happened if the monologues had been reversed.
So play with statements as well as questions. Turn things around. Explore whatever provokes strong emotions. And see what these exercises tell you about your characters and your stories.
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