Ray Bradbury maintained emotion is key to storytelling. In fact, his advice was…
“find out who you really are, and try not to lie, try to tell the truth all the time. And the only way to do this is by being very active and very emotional, and get it out of yourself — making things that you hate and things that you love, you write about these then, intensely. When it’s over, then you can think about it; then you can look, it works or it doesn’t work, something is missing here. And, if something is missing, then you go back and reemotionalize that part, so it’s all of a piece.”
A starting point for evaluating a scene is getting back to your own emotional experience. It can’t be faked. In my experience, there are more steps to bring emotion to readers, and I created some questions to explore along four dimensions — Assessing the Scene, Putting Emotions in Context, Considering the Audience, and Tuning with Tools.
Assessing the Scene
1. Can you name the emotions? Beginning? End?
2. Do the emotions feel genuine?
3. What score would you give the emotions (1-10 or something subjective like meh, intriguing, unsettling, inciting.)
4. Are emotions experienced through the right character? (Often, this is the character with the most at risk.)
5. Are emotions proportional to the stakes?
6. Do emotions reflect change to an important relationship?
7. Is surprise an element? Could it be?
8. Do the characters react in proportion to events that trigger emotion?
Putting Emotion in Context
1. How do the emotions connect with the story’s theme? Do they add to the impact?
2. Are the emotions named worth the scene?
3. How do emotions add to the motivation and character arc?
4. How is the emotional experience interwoven with the plot?
5. Is the emotional experience highlighted by irreversibility? Or can what is done or decided be undone?
6. Does the emotion reflect the genre (horror/fear, romance/love)?
7. Does the emotion of this scene fit within the emotions and pacing of scenes before/after? The whole story?
Considering the Audience
1. Will the audience find this authentic or melodramatic?
2. Are the hopes/fears of the audience at the scene’s start set up?
3. Will the audience be defending against strong emotions or have they been made more open though devices like comic relief?
4. Are there elements in the scene (descriptions, complexity, too many characters) that distract from emotion, or is it trimmed to the essentials?
5. Is the emotional arc of the scene accessible to the intended audience?
6. Is the audience sufficiently engaged with the viewpoint character, the situation, and what’s at risk?
7. Are alternative choices (allowing the character — and audience — to avoid emotion) cut off?
Tuning with Tools
1. Is necessary information fresh and valued or are reminders needed? Should elements be repeated?
2. Are emotions merely stated or are they shown physically, through character statements, and through actions?
3. Is each essential emotional beat given enough (or too much) time? Is the pacing right?
4. Could poetic tools (sound and imagery) be used to deepen emotion?
5. Could the stakes be raised or the choices made more difficult?
6. Is emotion understated (or overstated)?
7. Could the setting be changed to charge the emotion (say, putting the scene is a public setting)?
8. Could the protagonist be put under a time constraint forcing an action or decision?
Overall, the biggest barrier to true and appropriately intense emotions is usually the writer. Like the audience, there are times when we may protect ourselves (and our characters) from feeling too much. Also, fascination with the intellectual elements (like puzzles and inventions), settings, and language may provide value that is more about wit than feelings. So a final test of the scene might be seeing if, once what appeals to the head and the ego is removed, the emotions of the scene alone have enough power to engage and entertain.
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